Finn’s Birth Story

Finn James Garrett

November 8, 2015

7 lbs. 8oz. 20 inches long

10:55pm

American Fork Hospital 

Today, Finn is 4 weeks old today (crazy!). I have found it very difficult to start writing Finn’s birth story because…A. I am still in major zombie mode B. This is one event where my emotions and the feelings of my heart cannot be fully articulated in words. He is the best thing that has ever happened to us. 

During my second trimester, I worried about labor and the birth plan. I remember waking up in the morning wondering how it would all play out? What would it feel like? Would I be ready? However, when it came week 38+39, it was game time and I had never felt more ready and excited to get this baby here. I was ready. That’s when Carson and I started our 2-mile daily walks around the neighborhood—something I really cherished with Carson (and one of our last memories as a family of two).  At this point, I was still feeling really good and so I kept going to the high school to coach every day. I couldn’t envision how I would go from this stage to delivering a baby. I didn’t know what to expect…was pain going to suddenly overtake me? Would my water to break? Or the dreaded (for me)… would I go over my due date? Weirdly enough, I looked forward to any discomfort as I saw it being one step closer to meeting our sweet babe! I had to continually remind myself that we had come this far, it is only going to do the baby good to keep him in as long as he needs to grow and develop.

I woke up Sunday morning, the 8^th of November (Finn’s projected due date was Tuesday, November 10^th) with a little back pain. I was somewhat excited but anticipated this to last for a few days or a week. We got ready and headed to Stake Conference. We got home at around 12:30. I started to make some lunch and Carson left to attend a few Church meetings. As I finished eating, my body started to experience unusually sharp contractions; they were very sporadic…about 10-18 minutes apart. I didn’t think too much about it, seeing as this was probably another normal stage prior to the body entering labor. I went to go lay down upstairs for a few minutes and noticed that the contractions started to get stronger to the point of waking me up due to the discomfort. I looked at my phone and, just for fun, decided to time them to determine the time + duration and sure enough, at around 3pm, they started coming about 3-5 minutes apart. 

Part of me was getting excited, while the other part of me didn’t want to get my hopes up. The contractions were close together but not terribly painful. Carson and I decided to go on a walk around the neighborhood to see if that would enable my body to progress…We learned in our birthing class that you can go to the hospital at this point but I had always planned to labor as much as I could at home before entering the hospital. Carson tracked the time between contractions on my notepad on my phone—they were 3-5 to the dot and becoming increasingly stronger, longer, and more painful. I came home and took a shower to get my mind off of it…after three hours, we decided to go on one last walk….I could not make it to the corner before we had to turn back around. We got straight into the car (thankful that Cars pre-packed the car) and we headed to the AF Hospital. Each contraction was closer together and longer in duration.

After being checked in, the nurse checked my cervix and I was at a 2. They wanted to keep us for an hour to see if I was progressing before officially admitting me into the hospital. I did NOT want to go home!! It was a very uncertain and uncomfortable hour. My contractions were becoming progressively more painful and occurring every minute. I danced around hoping to find some comfort. Some moments I insisted Carson push on my back as HARD as possible (I had incredible back labor) and other moments for him not to touch me at all. His thumbs nearly broke off by the end of all of this! He was such a champion; always ready to help me in any way. He even tried to incorporate humor by playing music (i.e “Two Step”) as I was moving in a rhythm that was somewhat helping me focus through each contraction. I may have slightly smiled….maybe….I was turning inward and NO longer amused by anything.

Soon the clock hit 8:30! The nurse came in. I was PRAYING so hard that I had progressed enough to stay because I didn’t know if I could fathom going back home. They checked my cervix and I had dilated to a 3.5 and right then, my water broke. The nurse smiled and said, “Well, it looks like you are staying here!”

The next hour, was possibly the most physically difficult hour of my life. The contractions started to pick up in intensity and duration and now were nearly constant. I was lucky if I had 30 seconds to regain strength. My breathing became shallow. It took everything inside of me to focus and force my body to breathe deeply. I had to take each contraction one at a time.  In my mind, I estimated my cervix dilation to be a 4, maybe a 5—given the level of progression of the previous hour. I started to break down mentally. All I could think of was our birthing class instructor, our OBGYN doctor, and my fellow friends, saying labor is 12-14 hours on average for the first time. I didn’t know how I would get through 10 more hours of this excruciating pain that overcame my body so quickly. My spirits and hope started to fade each contraction. Now, I was so desperate for any relief. How would I be able to do this?  After an hour, I insisted the anesthesiologist come in to start an epidural NOW--ASAP. (I know, I am weird…Epidurals kind of freaked me out—I didn’t want to be numb) I was sitting on the side of the bed and grabbed Carson’s shirt as tightly as possible leaning on him during each contraction.  The anesthesiologist started to put in the epidural between contractions…he only had a small window between each one. They said it would take 15 minutes until it would take effect. Almost immediately after the anesthesiologist left the room to gather some more materials to proceed with the epidural, the nurse decided to check my cervix again between contractions…. Immediately, she shouted, “HOLY COW, you are 10+… I can see your baby’s head…you are ready to start pushing…get the doctor in here...” No way would I have ever thought I could progress from a 3 to a 10 in one hour.  In my mind, I was floored, excited, relieved, and comforted to know that is why it has been SO hard and painful—I had fully dilated and this baby was coming!  The nurse excitedly had Carson come over to see the baby and he replied, “Rach, he has a lot of dark hair!”

Immediately, my spirits were rising. The thought of this being almost over was exciting and somehow made the pain more manageable. I lifted my oxygen mask and told Cars, “You better call my Mom, she is going to freak.” (Up until this point, we had told my family about my contractions but we didn’t say anything about the hospital until we were officially admitted…No way did I think I would progress that quickly.. (Little did I know, they all were stalking us on “Find My Friends” and were texting each other up the wazoo!)

The doctor ran back in, shocked because this was “very rare for a first birth.” There was not much time. The epidural would not take into effect before he was born so I asked if they could just shut it off …but they thought it would be best if they tapered it down (it would take the edge off of the pushing and I would still be able to move and walk and for that, I was VERY grateful).

I pushed for 30 minutes… man, that is one stage I overlooked. I give Momma’s props who push for long periods of time. After 15 minutes, they asked if I wanted to see baby’s head coming out. Being the curious person that I am, I embraced the vagina mirror and suddenly on the next push, I could see him; it was the first time I saw Finn. My eyes started to tear up, it increased my motivation tenfold; I wanted to have this baby with us. I pushed until I felt the blood vessels in my face would burst. Carson was my biggest advocate, encouraging me through each contraction and pushing counts.  After one incredibly long push, Dr. Jones said, “How about we do one more of those right now and you will have a baby!” I pushed with everything I felt I had inside of me…a low, wailing cry filled the room. Finn made his debut. He was here!  Relief flooded my body.

He cried so loudly as they wiped the vernix off. The doctor started laughing as he exclaimed, “He has some lungs, good luck!” Carson looked over at me with full excitement—He is here! He leaned over and kissed my forehead and moved the hair out of my face as we both looked at this baby that we had anxiously awaited for so long.  As soon as he came out of the womb, they gently placed this baby, umbilical chord still in tact, on my chest…and immediately he stopped crying. He nestled his head into my chest and he quietly went from a fast-paced whimper to steady breathing.  My heart about burst into a million pieces.  He knows me. I felt so complete. With tears streaming down my face, I looked down at this baby who looked up at me with his big, dark eyes…our son was here. He made it safe and sound. Time seemed to stop. How could I love this little boy any more?

After spending some special time as a family of three, my mom walked in. She had dropped everything she was doing that night and drove to the hospital. She sat right outside as we were in the final stages of pushing… she heard him cry as he made his big debut. She walked in the room sobbing as she looked at us with this baby in my arms--her first grandchild. We both sat on the bed and sobbed. She gently held Finn and sweetly talked to him. He was so calm and snuggly. She stayed with us until 4am…helping me walk to the restroom, after being stitched up, to get cleaned up.

I sat in the wheel chair in the nursery with Carson as we watched him get his first bath and all cleaned up. For the first time, I felt something in my heart that I had never experienced before…I call it my Mama Heart. It is a love that I never knew existed, something in me started to hurt and get extremely protective…tears streamed down my face as I watched them prick him or to see him so exposed under lights, crying.

That night, we did not sleep a wink…we were the stereotypical first parents, just sitting there holding and watching him sleep. I sat in the hospital bed, holding Finn or watching Carson change/swaddle him or regularly check on him if I started to nod off. It was 4am. We were in this little, dark hospital room as a family of three. My heart felt it would burst. I felt deeply grateful to have such a solid team member to help raise this baby with and so grateful for this beautiful baby. Our whole world has changed in the most wonderful and dramatic way. I see parts of me in him and parts of Carson…but mostly, I see a whole new soul with a life to live. I am excited to be his number one fan. I am excited to see what his personality will be like. I am excited to parent with Carson. I am excited Finn will be apart of our family forever.

 

^^Leaving the hospital

**Post coming soon with pictures and stories of his first month of life!!!