94 Days and Counting...

Have you ever wondered, How did I get here? Of all the places you could be, how did you get to be where you currently are?

I am tired! very happy but very tired! It's not unusual for me to get home, sit down to work on something and 30 minutes later, wake up. Yeah...I was never the napper type...but, lately, it keeps happening. 

I have been teaching for 3 months now. I have created 56, 80-minute lesson plans for over 200 high school students in 6 different classes. I wake up at 6:30 every morning and go to sleep (hopefully) before 12. I have made 130 minutes worth of phone calls to parents/guardians. I am currently in the process of reminding myself to eat 3x a day...I'm working on moving myself from the back burner. Sometimes, I come home feeling on top of the world, so full of happiness I could burst and others--wondering what I got myself into, did any of my efforts make a difference that day?

-->How do I get a student who comes from a shattered home life to succeed in my class...or coming?

-->How do I convince a sophomore that pregnancy is not the answer?

-->How do I get a student who is heavily addicted to marijuana into the right activities?

-->How do I get the aggressive fighters of the school to be kind to their classmates?

-->How do I get an unmotivated student to participate?

-->How do I balance 7 IEPS in one class? 

-->How do I keep 40 students attentive and learning for 80 minutes?

Together, my students and I are learning. I am falling more in love with this whole teaching thing as I go...mostly because of the students! We have been the slaves in the Underground Railroad together. We have been Immigrants coming to America through Ellis Island together. We have broken down some of the most difficult topics and awed at the brilliance of others' strength.  We have reached new heights together. (I almost fainted at the sight of some of their test scores, essay responses!) My students make me laugh hysterically, teach me patience, amaze me, humble me, and yet give me confidence. I have teared up more from overwhelming feelings of happiness & amazement than any other feelings. My students push me to continue living each day with strength and love not because they require it but because they need it. 

 I feel sooooo far from perfect...but through baby steps, I feel progression. 

This week, after school one day, one of my students came running back into my classroom. I asked if she needed help or had forgotten something, since she had just left my classroom.
Student: "Mrs. Garrett, I was going to show you something..." Have you read Tuesdays with Morrie? 
Me: Its only one of my favorites!
Student: What made you want to become a teacher?
Me: ....I actually didn't anticipate being a teacher....listed off a few reasons...
Student: I came across this quote and I marked it because I wanted to show you:

Student: ....Thank you for deciding to be a teacher! I believe this quote is true and I wanted YOU to see it. 

Some days, my ideas flop in a class. Some days, I don't reach a student in the way I wanted to. Some days, I am saddened by the choices of my students. Other days, I am frustrated at everything I did or did not do. And then I occasionally see little notes scribbled in the most random places that reaffirms that right now, I am in the right place: 

***

Can I just say??? None of this would be a possibility for me if I did not have Carson. Marrying Carson was the BEST decision I have ever made. He makes us dinner when I am exhausted, (even if he is just as tired). He puts up with me talking endlessly about my students. He picks me up off my open books and puts me to bed. He cheers me on and sends me uplifting things each day. His adorable humor has saved me multiple times. We watched "Freedom Writers" the other night. we laughed at some of the surprising similarities with our situations....but one thing is very different, this experience has brought us closer than I could have ever imagined. People warned me that the first year may be a doozy for a newly forming marriage but this couldn't be further from the truth because of the person that I married. so, thank you, my darling, for fulfilling me and my needs so I can be strong enough to help others fulfill some of theirs. 

Without you, none of this would be a possibility for me.