Finn James Garrett
November 8, 2015
7 lbs. 8oz. 20 inches long
10:55pm
American Fork Hospital
Today, Finn is 4 weeks old today (crazy!). I have found it very
difficult to start writing Finn’s birth story because…A. I am still in major
zombie mode B. This is one event where my emotions and the feelings of my heart
cannot be fully articulated in words. He is the best thing that has ever happened to us.
During my second trimester, I worried about labor and the
birth plan. I remember waking up in the morning wondering how it would all play
out? What would it feel like? Would I be ready? However, when it came week 38+39,
it was game time and I had never felt more ready and excited to get this baby
here. I was ready. That’s when Carson and I started our 2-mile daily walks
around the neighborhood—something I really cherished with Carson (and one of
our last memories as a family of two). At
this point, I was still feeling really good and so I kept going to the high
school to coach every day. I couldn’t envision how I would go from this stage
to delivering a baby. I didn’t know what to expect…was pain going to suddenly
overtake me? Would my water to break? Or the dreaded (for me)… would I go over
my due date? Weirdly enough, I looked forward to any discomfort as I saw it
being one step closer to meeting our sweet babe! I had to continually remind
myself that we had come this far, it is only going to do the baby good to keep
him in as long as he needs to grow and develop.
I woke up Sunday morning, the 8th of November
(Finn’s projected due date was Tuesday, November 10th) with a little
back pain. I was somewhat excited but anticipated this to last for a few days
or a week. We got ready and headed to Stake Conference. We got home at around
12:30. I started to make some lunch and Carson left to attend a few Church
meetings. As I finished eating, my body started to experience unusually sharp
contractions; they were very sporadic…about 10-18 minutes apart. I didn’t think
too much about it, seeing as this was probably another normal stage prior to
the body entering labor. I went to go lay down upstairs for a few minutes and
noticed that the contractions started to get stronger to the point of waking me
up due to the discomfort. I looked at my phone and, just for fun, decided to
time them to determine the time + duration and sure enough, at around 3pm, they
started coming about 3-5 minutes apart.
Part of me was getting excited, while the other part of me
didn’t want to get my hopes up. The contractions were close together but not
terribly painful. Carson and I decided to go on a walk around the neighborhood
to see if that would enable my body to progress…We learned in our birthing
class that you can go to the hospital at this point but I had always planned to
labor as much as I could at home before entering the hospital. Carson tracked
the time between contractions on my notepad on my phone—they were 3-5 to the
dot and becoming increasingly stronger, longer, and more painful. I came home
and took a shower to get my mind off of it…after three hours, we decided to go
on one last walk….I could not make it to the corner before we had to turn back
around. We got straight into the car (thankful that Cars pre-packed the car)
and we headed to the AF Hospital. Each contraction was closer together and
longer in duration.
After being checked in, the nurse checked my cervix and I
was at a 2. They wanted to keep us for an hour to see if I was progressing
before officially admitting me into the hospital. I did NOT want to go home!!
It was a very uncertain and uncomfortable hour. My contractions were becoming
progressively more painful and occurring every minute. I danced around hoping
to find some comfort. Some moments I insisted Carson push on my back as HARD as
possible (I had incredible back labor) and other moments for him not to touch
me at all. His thumbs nearly broke off by the end of all of this! He was such a
champion; always ready to help me in any way. He even tried to incorporate
humor by playing music (i.e “Two Step”) as I was moving in a rhythm that was
somewhat helping me focus through each contraction. I may have slightly
smiled….maybe….I was turning inward and NO longer amused by anything.
Soon the clock hit 8:30! The nurse came in. I was PRAYING so
hard that I had progressed enough to stay because I didn’t know if I could
fathom going back home. They checked my cervix and I had dilated to a 3.5 and
right then, my water broke. The nurse smiled and said, “Well, it looks like you
are staying here!”
The next hour, was possibly the most physically difficult
hour of my life. The contractions started to pick up in intensity and duration
and now were nearly constant. I was lucky if I had 30 seconds to regain strength.
My breathing became shallow. It took everything inside of me to focus and force
my body to breathe deeply. I had to take each contraction one at a time. In my mind, I estimated my cervix dilation to
be a 4, maybe a 5—given the level of progression of the previous hour. I
started to break down mentally. All I could think of was our birthing class
instructor, our OBGYN doctor, and my fellow friends, saying labor is 12-14 hours on average for the
first time. I didn’t know how I would get through 10 more hours of this
excruciating pain that overcame my body so quickly. My spirits and hope started
to fade each contraction. Now, I was so desperate for any relief. How would I
be able to do this? After an hour, I
insisted the anesthesiologist come in to start an epidural NOW--ASAP. (I know, I
am weird…Epidurals kind of freaked me out—I didn’t want to be numb) I was
sitting on the side of the bed and grabbed Carson’s shirt as tightly as
possible leaning on him during each contraction. The anesthesiologist started to put in the epidural
between contractions…he only had a small window between each one. They said it
would take 15 minutes until it would take effect. Almost immediately after the
anesthesiologist left the room to gather some more materials to proceed with
the epidural, the nurse decided to check my cervix again between contractions….
Immediately, she shouted, “HOLY COW, you are 10+… I can see
your baby’s head…you are ready to start pushing…get the doctor in here...” No way would I have ever thought I could progress from a 3 to a 10 in one hour. In my mind, I was floored, excited, relieved, and comforted to know that is why
it has been SO hard and painful—I had fully dilated and this baby was
coming! The nurse excitedly had Carson come
over to see the baby and he replied, “Rach,
he has a lot of dark hair!”
Immediately, my spirits were rising. The thought of this
being almost over was exciting and somehow made the pain more manageable. I
lifted my oxygen mask and told Cars, “You
better call my Mom, she is going to freak.” (Up until this point, we had
told my family about my contractions but we didn’t say anything about the
hospital until we were officially admitted…No way did I think I would progress that quickly.. (Little did I know, they all were stalking us
on “Find My Friends” and were texting each other up the wazoo!)
The doctor ran back in, shocked because this was “very rare
for a first birth.” There was not much time. The epidural would not take into
effect before he was born so I asked if they could just shut it off …but they thought
it would be best if they tapered it down (it would take the edge off of the pushing
and I would still be able to move and walk and for that, I was VERY grateful).
I pushed for 30 minutes… man, that is one stage I
overlooked. I give Momma’s props who push for long periods of time. After 15
minutes, they asked if I wanted to see baby’s head coming out. Being the
curious person that I am, I embraced the vagina mirror and suddenly on the next
push, I could see him; it was the first time I saw Finn. My eyes started to
tear up, it increased my motivation tenfold; I wanted to have this baby with
us. I pushed until I felt the blood vessels in my face would burst. Carson was
my biggest advocate, encouraging me through each contraction and pushing
counts. After one incredibly long push,
Dr. Jones said, “How about we do one more of those right now and you will have
a baby!” I pushed with everything I felt I had inside of me…a low, wailing cry
filled the room. Finn made his debut. He was here! Relief flooded my body.
He cried so loudly as they wiped the vernix off. The doctor
started laughing as he exclaimed, “He has some lungs, good luck!” Carson looked
over at me with full excitement—He is here! He leaned over and kissed my forehead and
moved the hair out of my face as we both looked at this baby that we had
anxiously awaited for so long. As soon
as he came out of the womb, they gently placed this baby, umbilical chord still
in tact, on my chest…and immediately he stopped crying. He nestled his head
into my chest and he quietly went from a fast-paced whimper to steady
breathing. My heart about burst into a
million pieces. He knows me. I felt so
complete. With tears streaming down my face, I looked down at this baby who
looked up at me with his big, dark eyes…our son was here. He made it safe and
sound. Time seemed to stop. How could I love this little boy any more?
After spending some special time as a family of three, my
mom walked in. She had dropped everything she was doing that night and drove to
the hospital. She sat right outside as we were in the final stages of pushing…
she heard him cry as he made his big debut. She walked in the room sobbing as
she looked at us with this baby in my arms--her first grandchild. We both sat
on the bed and sobbed. She gently held Finn and sweetly talked to him. He was
so calm and snuggly. She stayed with us until 4am…helping me walk to the
restroom, after being stitched up, to get cleaned up.
I sat in the wheel chair in the nursery with Carson as we
watched him get his first bath and all cleaned up. For the first time, I felt
something in my heart that I had never experienced before…I call it my Mama Heart.
It is a love that I never knew existed, something in me started to hurt and get
extremely protective…tears streamed down my face as I watched them prick him or
to see him so exposed under lights, crying.
That night, we did not sleep a wink…we were the
stereotypical first parents, just sitting there holding and watching him sleep.
I sat in the hospital bed, holding Finn or watching Carson change/swaddle him
or regularly check on him if I started to nod off. It was 4am. We were in this
little, dark hospital room as a family of three. My heart felt it would burst. I
felt deeply grateful to have such a solid team member to help raise this baby
with and so grateful for this beautiful baby. Our whole world has changed in
the most wonderful and dramatic way. I see parts of me in him and parts of
Carson…but mostly, I see a whole new soul with a life to live. I am excited to be his number one fan. I am excited to see what his personality will be like. I am excited to parent with Carson. I am excited Finn will be apart of our family forever.
^^Leaving the hospital
**Post coming soon with pictures and stories of his first month of life!!!
**Post coming soon with pictures and stories of his first month of life!!!
